


Maybe This Time (I Can Be Strong)

by BlueJay_Silvertongue



Series: Chronicles of WonderPosion [7]
Category: DCU (Comics), Wonder Woman (2017), Wonder Woman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, Isabel is dead, Letters to dead lovers, Loosely follows the post-Hatred timeline, There are a LOT of dead characters in DC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 13:46:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14262294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueJay_Silvertongue/pseuds/BlueJay_Silvertongue
Summary: "Sometimes Diana lies awake at night and sees their names moving across the shadowed ceiling: Parents. Lovers. Children. Friends."Diana mulls over her experiences with death, specifically post-Identity Crisis.





	Maybe This Time (I Can Be Strong)

**Author's Note:**

> TW: ANGST

_I do not want to turn my back on you, Isabel,_ _not now, when you need me more than ever, but I need you too. I need you, too. And I cannot understand why you are leaving me, why you did not devote your life to developing some immortality drug so then we could be together forever. I want to shake awake your sleeping figure and scream at you for being so selfish–for all the years you wasted, when you could have been ensuring that time would never touch you again… but we did know, did we not? From the beginning we knew that this would happen: me, standing over your frail body, watching as death creeps into your eyes, and I can’t, Isabel. I cannot lose you. You cannot leave me._

_And yet you are._

_You have._  

* * *

 

In the first moment when she stood shoulder to shoulder with her comrades, it had been easy. Doomsday was a creature of chaos, designed to wreak havoc upon the world and kill a god. She had drawn her sword and plunged into the fray, her warrior blood alight with the thrill and rush of combat.

And then Superman had died, and the breath had rushed from her lungs as Lois Lane ran forward and knelt down beside his still figure.

And she remembered another time, another place not so long ago: carrying the limp body of Isabel Maru through the torchlit streets of Themyscira, laying her down upon cold stone, her mother’s heavy hand on her shoulder as the flames rose around the lifeless figure.

Bruce Wayne appeared at her side after Clark’s funeral.

He asked her to hope.

Mankind had brought the world to the brink of destruction, time and time again. War. Genocide. Senseless murders, senseless destruction.

But she thought of Isabel Maru’s sly smile, stared down at the soft earth, and gave a short nod. And as she watched him walk through the headstones towards his car, she had wondered.

She had wondered how many others they would bury before the end.

* * *

 

_They invaded Spain, burned Madrid, and trampled the cemetery. Billy found me there, kneeling in the middle of the ruin. I remember laying you to rest beside Johanna, the woman who stole your innocent heart and gave you hope, before she lost her own… the graveyard was a smoldering wreckage of overturned earth, rotting wood, white bones._

_Billy came to me, and he cried like a child when he saw my tears. He asked who you were, and I said you were my wife. My precious wife, who now did not even have a place on this earth to rest. It was as if the universe was determined to erase you from its history._

_But I will never forget you, Isabel Maru._

* * *

 

_Thomas and Martha Wayne. Jason Todd. Damian Wayne._

 

Sometimes Diana lies awake at night and sees their names moving across the shadowed ceiling.

 

_Jor-El and Lara Lor-Van. Jonathan Kent._

 

Parents. Lovers. Children. Friends.

 

_Tom Curry and Atlanna. Arthur Curry Junior. Tula._

 

Sometimes Clark disappears for days on end, secluding himself to the farm, to the peace of his childhood home.

 

_Silas and Elinore Stone._

 

Bruce spends days in his cave, with his butler and his technology and his weapons, and at night, he roams the city streets with his orphan wards.

 

_Barry Allen. Iris West. Hal Jordan._

 

Diana spends her days running to and fro. Saving as many as she can. Working as a diplomat by day. Sometimes working as Wonder Woman by day, too.

 

_C. C. and Marylin Batson. John and Sindella Zatara._

 

Most nights she spends in the Watchtower, watching the stars in silence, watching as the planet slowly spins, watching as the clouds move like wisps of smoke over the peaceful surface. It is place of magic and wonder, worth cherishing in every way. If only...

 

_Robert Henry and Moira Queen. Larry and Dinah Lance._

 

On some days, the sun shines, and the earth is warm, and she stops to gaze around her in awe. Life is precious. Life is beautiful. On some days, life is worth living.

 

_Sue Dibny. Jack Drake. Ronnie Raymond. Ted Kord._

 

But on other days, explosions rock the earth, and bullets rain down from the sky, and men are blinded by bloodlust and hatred, and enemies are vicious and relentless, and there is call after call of yet another death…

 

_Bruce. Clark. Arthur. Wally. J’onn. Billy._

 

On those days, Diana stares down upon a world she has tried so many times to save, and then she closes her eyes and turns away, unable to look for a moment longer.

 

 _Antiope._ S _teve._   _Etta._ _Isabel._ _Hippolyta..._

* * *

 

_The sun is dark and the world has gone lifeless and cold. They are dead. They’re all dead._

_Once, I dreamed of saving this world. I dreamed of bringing peace and light into men’s hearts, of ending the war, the hatred, the bloodshed. But mankind was stubborn, and they resisted my pleas._

_For centuries, I fought at their side, battling man and creature alike, until one and all were the same. I watched friend become enemy, and enemy become friend. I watched as worlds collided, the fabric of reality torn away, worlds destroyed, worlds rebuilt._

_But now there is nothing._

_Now, not even the fires burn._

_Now, not even the sun shines._

_Now, not even the machines move._

_There is nothing._

_They are all dead._

_Oh, children, I tried to guide you well. I tried to lead you towards the path of light. How well you fought, with your stubborn resilience, and your will to live, and your fight to survive, up until the very end._

_Sweet mother, hear now my prayer, and deliver my soul to rest. I have completed the mission of the Amazons, and completed the task I set out to do._

_My work upon this world is at its end..._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I read Identity Crisis (2004) today and was just floored by how it handled death and each character's experience with loss. At some point I'll come back and edit this (I wrote it in one sitting while listening to "Cold Little Heart" by Michael Kiwanuka (the 10 minute version) on repeat...)! 
> 
> Also, at some point I'll write something happy/non-angsty, but honestly, DC and its dead parents trope doesn't make it very easy!


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